You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
