you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
