That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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