i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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