worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
two words...techno handjob
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
