i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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