im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
