I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
