Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
