When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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