Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
