maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
