Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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