we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
