I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
