absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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