I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You made out with two different species that night
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
