hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
