My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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