Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
