Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
