Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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