I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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