i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
