Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We are two peas in an std pod
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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