like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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