I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
