My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
