Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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