Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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