also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
