A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
