I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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