Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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