Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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