Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
