I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
