i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
