worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
