i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
