there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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