Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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