WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
FUCK WHALES
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
