Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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