We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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