Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
