i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
