I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is the high leading the old right now
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
