oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
