I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
